// RAINBOW'S SPLENDOR

italic bold underline ~~stike~~ link

past.

take a walk down the alley of yesterday

/May 2009//June 2009//July 2009//May 2010//April 2014/

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

7:10 AM

我很累。但感觉上，我好像累得麻木了。我不喜欢这种感觉，但是我想要继续这样下去。我很想放弃一切，但我却放不了手。我一天到晚，忙来忙去，好像过得很充实，但觉得，我好像在浪费我的人生。我在浪费时间。我在追逐什么？我自己都不知道。是信徒，有好像不是。有宗旨，又好像不把它放在眼里。为什么会这样？我是信徒，我不会放弃这段道路，但我又觉得，我做错了。我让上帝失望。对不起。因为有祢，生命才有意义。但我却辜负了祢。对不起。

以前，我什么人都不能信任。现在也一样。但至少现在，我还能信任祢。祢是我的支柱，我的生命。但偏偏，我滥用祢所给我的一切。

我好想哭，但哭不出。

Friday, May 21, 2010

8:03 PM

I've stepped down on 4th May 2010.

It has indeed been a fruitful journey being the president of the 6th student council.

But even so, I've decided, even if i were to take up any leadership roles in future,

it would AT MOST just be the vice or whatsoever.

With great authority, comes great responsibility, comes loneliness.

Is it because of my position that made me lose so much?

If I can choose again, I'd rather not be the president seriously.

But still, I feel very supported and 有一股亲切感 when rebecca calls me 刘社长。

Now, It is my turn to call rebecca 陈会长。

Hopefully, her journey would not be as tough as mine.

I really wish her the best in everything. She is one tough woman.

Indeed tougher than me(: She is one of my good examples as a student leader. Haha.

Rosamund and I have patched up actually.

Many things happened during the period this blog was empty.

But even so, things will never be the same again.

That was what she said, but I thought we could still be as good as before.

But what she said made me lose faith.

Although I may appear to be a very strong lady on the outside.

But in actual fact, I don't really have any self-confidence.

Maybe that is why there is nothing I can do well.

我心中的寂寞与孤单还仍然存在着。

怎么会这样呢？我到底怎么了？

我好像活在自己的世界里。

而我世界里，有高墙围绕着。

只有能飞的人才能进来哦。。。

真好笑。。。怎么好好的一个刘晓慧会变成这样。

要记得陈庭芳说的：刘晓慧加油！

晓慧要坚强啊！

Monday, July 27, 2009

6:44 AM

hng, this is really a world where you can't trust.
traitors are everywhere.

being the president sucks.

i was naive.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

5:15 AM

我累了。我真的感到很疲倦。
我不知道能撑得了多久。
我想象不到以后的生活要怎么继续走下去。
我只希望这种日子能尽快度过。

我现在的生活，令我很不愉快。

2:56 AM

That fear was back a few days ago.
I avoided it.
I walked the other direction..

Saturday, July 25, 2009

7:42 AM

Just shut up fucker. I've had enough.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

6:01 AM

Yea, my father was right.

True friends will be true to each other regardless of any obstacles that they face.

I don't have to be so affected over what has happened.

I have also reflected and heed my father's advice,

I told him maybe I did something to disappoint her,

He asked me if I knew what was it,

I said I didn't know and I felt very confuse, but she wouldn't tell me what's the problem.

He said if I did something wrong,

she should be true to me and tell what's the problem.

That's a true friend.

So I've decided, I don't need such a friend,

whether she is my friend or not, it doesn't matter.

I don't need a friend who turn her back on me when I succeed in something.

My father said people like her can be found everywhere.

She cannot be considered a true friend.

A true friend is very very hard to find.

Papa said for 50years of his life, he haven't found a true friend.

Papa said if she really treated me as a best friend.

She should hurry solve the problem together with me and not keep dragging on, saying she's not ready.

Alright, there goes this friendship...

I will forgive, but the trust cannot exist anymore...

From now on, I'll be leading my own life alone,

I will be an independent person and not rely on anyone but my family.